Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in Fire on High's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
11:36 am	Grrr Frackin ppl, noses stuck in my business, no regard for custom or propriety or the need to keep what should be a dignified affair such, give us dignity or give us death dammit. Why can no one understand that YES I will trod upon the first half of every thing's final fate and prevent it entirely rather than be dragged into a humilating situation lacking dignity? Were that I could drink..but the scrawny bastard got that and I did not... Law, rules, propriety, custom...THESE are the things that shape existence, not pointless emotions or fate! Without custom there is no continuity, without rules there is no right. How can the Final ever be a hope without them? Oh, and the music...SO fitting for this rant. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Robert Miles - One and One (Comment on this)
Monday, October 17th, 2005
6:28 pm	A rant. Since I've had just about every single person ask me why on EARTH I chose the OS that I did, and moreso why I swear by it, I figured I'd better answer this somehow before I strangle someone. You see, I run WinME...happily. I've found it to be easier and faster to setup. The networking is much nicer than Win98, IMO. It's been more consistent about finding all the other machines when it should and keeping them listed. It doesn't have shares randomly come unshared, or forget the password. It found my DSL modem on the first boot after the NICs were set up, and dealt with the network correctly with minimal configuration. I'll admit that the tech got a good laugh out of that when I called to ask about the configuration settings, since after Tango went out, the modem was manually configured and I naturally assumed it would need the same again. Boy was I embarrassed when the tech told me it appeared I was already online and could I check please, and sure enough, the page I tried sprang to my screen with impressive alacrity, but also pleased to see my favorite performing so well. Then there's the other machine, and games. Where to even begin... Toss in a nice XG card and set up my sturdy old Geforce 5200fx, and my wonderous new toy just flew with WinME and games. EQ? Effortless 2boxing. NWN? Autosaves so fast that neither machine even slowed down when I hosted. Diablo 2:LOD? Light speed...kiting mobs with a sorc and druid spamming their biggest AoEs in Acts 3 and 5 with perfect speed and maneuverability. UT ran so fast and smooth that you can see details on the brass from the minigun. Then there's the game I'm helping beta tester for a friend. The detail is simply amazing. Framerates made it into triple digits at times, and stayed steadily at 65+. You could see every gorgeous movement of the amazingly nimble ships as they swoop and dive agilely. WinME does have a few known issues, but face it, many of the "problems" are human error. I've set mine up with OppcomME to get rid of a few programs I find particularly objectionable, set the VM to a custom level, and this thing flies. Rock solid. I'll grant the recent issues may reflect badly on the OS, but considering a hardware issue was found and fixed, the OS isn't the cause, nor should it be blamed. My own efforts to find and fix the problem did more damage than anything else. I realize that it has it's quirks, that sometimes there's a hardware config it just doesn't care for, and that it's widely and incorrectly be unstable and slow. Just give it a try, it's actually one of the best kept secrets in computing. (And if you can't manage that, at least quit f***ing nagging me about it. It works for me, and I'm not going to change bc YOU like XP!) Current Mood: determined Current Music: Nitrotech, in glorious, thunderous XG (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 15th, 2004
11:37 pm	Why in the fraggin blazes.... ...does nothing change with what I found? You'd think that after searching for so long and FINDING it, after being told by so many ppl that it was impossible, it was gone, it could never happen, it was locked out, so bloody many lies and naysayers and finally beating them all, and more than anything, the one who swore we were nothing, never had been, never would be, why is there no sense of satisfaction? I have it, it's in the open now, any fool with 2+ brain cells to rub together and halfway the right mindset should be able to use it, not just us blessed few who are left or even the greater masses but ANYONE who can force their mind into the right channels and configurations. I just don't get it...I pull this off and the only other response I've gotten besides "ho-hum" was "this is too technical and complicated". I can maybe understand outsiders being oblivious, maybe it really is THAT hard to "work backwards" and memorize a few thinga, but the utter lack of any interest from any other Naa'tak is just....galling. To top it all off, if you can't tell from my rambling, I'm in one of those restless, lonely, craving magick like an addict craves drugs moods....which I thought by someone else's definition of mage finally made me worthy. No one around has a fraggin thing worth saying, no one worth dealing with is around, it's like everyone is just so much mind-dead worthless meat. I'm not expecting to be hailed as a conquering hero but at this point even the sort of punishment I used to regularly manage to get for presumptiousness, stubborn defiance, and sticking my nose where it shouldn't have ever been would seem welcoming compared to what seems an awful lot like shunning. Even worse, I managed to piece together several major fragments of someone ELSE'S pet project and if anything, I'd say they're MAD at me over it...well excuse the blazes out of me for not being passably good at the exact one aspect of it you are, but I think I manage to more than make up for it with the other areas...what I can work with with others, from memory, or working with inanimates....oh well if I'm gonna be hated I might as well be hated for being good at what I do. Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: Oxygene 10 Techno Remix (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
10:31 pm	Eureka? Sometimes the point of view it takes to see something is so far away from your own you don't catch it at all bc you can't concieve that it exists. Such is how it seems to be with most of my recent attempts to use one thing or another. Well, in developing and rediscovering the Naa'tak system I've finally figured out why, albeit with some help. I've always provided the power first and foremost, and manually juggled the focus, be it a single thread or a complicated weave of 5 parts. The Naa'tak system suits this, and works with it to provide part of the focus to "free your hands" so you can manually control others even more finely, or focus more on the power and thrust of it. Most human systems, it's the opposite...you provide focus and call "whatever" to do the push. Erm...duh? Don't know how I missed this obvious fact for so long but it sure explains a lot. I've also got a fairly good idea using a chaos magick technique of how to derive the written sigla from the verbal form. It's not perfect and still has a few flaws, but it seems promising and feels right. I should be able to iron the few reamining bugs out, even if it means using archaic forms in a few places. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: VNV Nation - Genesis (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 26th, 2004
7:52 pm	All this time and no progress...everyone who was supposed to help me left me up a friggin creek, as usual. Think I'm bitter any? Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: VNV Nation - Genesis (Comment on this)
Friday, January 2nd, 2004
12:07 am	So apparently.... ...I've finally managed to push just a TAD too much. Now I know, and so does everyone that knows me, that when I'm looking for something I can be like a pitbull with lockjaw once I think I got a lead. I had what looked to be my absolute most promising one so far, had the info due "any minute now".....three days ago. Looks like the fact that I know exactly what I'm looking for, and what all I'm not, offends. Oh well. I'm direct and I say what I mean. Doesn't mean other inquiries are pointless or make-talk. Gods know no knowledge goes to waste. Just that after several YEARS working on this one project on and off, I know what can be set aside as interesting but unrelated. Figuring that I'm basically working with a complete lack of any help, and more than a bit of active hindrance. If I didn't know better I'd think some ppl didn't want this found....perhaps the thought of something almost mechanical in nature, that even those below notice of a god can work with, makes them squirm...perhaps past actions and words make squirming a bit justified. Current Mood: cynical Current Music: F-Zero - Mute City (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 9th, 2003
5:44 pm	More Ramblings Some more ideas, of course...these gotten while walking around a slightly chilly flea market at too damn early. Red Sphere...a simple, basic working taught to all Naa'tak children pretty much as soon as they're old enough to understand it. Just a simple..well....red sphere...of warm energy to block the cold. Likewise Blue Sphere...the opposite. I'd think these would translate well to this...form them once and then be able to recall them with the structurs. Maybe even Patryn style tattoos to invoke them as needed, automatically.... That would go over really well....tattooed sigla over my body for the various workings...would certainly help things a bit, but I'd be even more of a freak than i already am...which is saying a lot. Then again I don't think I'd really mind...I'm so used to stares and sneers that what's a few more? Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: none...that BLOODY fan grinding (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 17th, 2003
1:43 pm	Theory: Structure I've been thinking....if the sigla are a form of actual Truth, that is to say, they, innately, by the vitue of merely existing in the form that they do, have links to the base possibilities and Shape them so, then of course they would be a correct, accurate, and universal means of working with this. However, if they're just another, perhaps stronger, link formed by informed awareness (what most would call Belief), could not the script of the times be used in some forms, equally well, by those with an adequate understanding of it?This would certainly lend itself better to a linear, sentence-like form, as was used in Viking rune staves and the like, and add to the versatility and ease of use for many simple functions. For obvious reasons, this would be easier to learn for many, whose native languages and thus manner of thinking are in a linear form. Not to say, mind you, that the sigil form has no use...indeed, for more complex things, it may well be the only way to link and modify everything as needed...but in the meantime, could not the written script of the Naa'tak be used as a simpler means? Not even getting into the possibilites of accidental use, casual use, Intent and Focus, or any of that, but using the script would still bind the spoken and written forms together, reinforcing them, guarding them against casual use and misuse, and provide a way in the meantime to start testing the other theories and functionality of this without yet having access to knowledge of all the individual sigla. When in doubt, spell it out? Current Mood: curious Current Music: ELO - Mission (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 16th, 2003
11:39 am	Mutterings of a Mad Mage Ah yes, my first entry...finally my lazy self gets around to posting my ramblings here on the account so generously granted by a guildie. (thanks hairfoot) Yes, I do play games, and I'm in a guild, but not everything or even a good portion of it will be about games...even if it looks like it. You see, I practice magick. That alone is unusual enough, in a mundane world full of skeptics and disbelievers. Furthermore, I am Naa'tak. For those not familiar with this at all, that is a type of Otherkin....a person who is not human. For those more familiar, you know the strangeness of a Naa'tak with interest in magick, and the talent to pull it off. I've been privileged enough to be allowed entrance to a group of mages taught in the Alderzani way, studied under Djinn and more, but I've always wanted to tap...to have the potential....of what should have been ours to begin with. We've had and lost many things through the years, including, perhaps most importantly, our own, native, built from Naa'tak thought, Naa'tak ideas, and Naa'tak language, system of magick. Til now. I'm digging through, piecing scraps together, words from the Naa'tak mages' language, sigla for the written form, and most importantly, theory on how it all works...and building it back into an active, workable system, one once again built on our concepts, giving voice to our soul, yet not limited to us...open to any who would be willing to learn our ways. I've been working on the basic theories on and off for years, trying to find the lost languages used for it...now it's very close to happening. Most of the theory is laid out, much of the spoken mode, at least the circles and elements, has been restored finally, and the sigla are slowly being found again. it is most decidedly my Will and dream to see this ancient and yet new form practiced widely, to see it become as veratile and powerful as we know, remember, dream it to be. After all, is awareness of the possibilities not in its own way, empowerment of the possibilities? Current Mood: determined Current Music: Oakenfold...Silence (2 Comments |Comment on this)